Maintaining Relationships While Working FIFO

FIFO work puts unique pressure on relationships. You're physically absent for weeks at a time. You miss birthdays, school events, everyday moments. Your partner manages everything solo while you're away.

But thousands of FIFO families make it work — some for decades. Here's what they've learned.

The Reality Check

Let's be honest upfront: FIFO isn't for every relationship. The statistics on FIFO relationship breakdowns are higher than average. But that doesn't mean it has to happen to you.

The couples who succeed have three things in common:

1. Open, honest communication — Before starting FIFO and throughout
2. Shared expectations — Both partners understand and accept the arrangement
3. Intentional effort — Making connection happen, not hoping it happens

Before You Start FIFO

Have the Hard Conversations

Before accepting a FIFO role, discuss with your partner:

• How will we handle finances while I'm away?
• Who makes household decisions while I'm on site?
• How will we stay connected daily?
• What's our plan for the kids' routines?
• How long are we willing to do this? (What's our exit plan?)

Set Realistic Expectations

Your partner will essentially be a single parent while you're away. That's exhausting. When you come home, you can't expect everything to be exactly as you'd have it — they've developed their own routines.

Staying Connected While Away

Daily Communication

Most FIFO workers aim for a video call every day. Tips:

• Schedule a consistent time — Not random calls when convenient for you
• Use video when possible — Voice loses too much connection over time
• Be present — Don't call while distracted. Your partner can tell
• Talk about normal stuff — Not just logistics and problems

With Kids

• Regular video calls — Same time each day helps them anticipate it
• Read bedtime stories — Video call works surprisingly well for this
• Leave notes or surprises — Hidden letters to find while you're away
• Be involved in homework — Review it on video, help where you can
• Countdown calendars — Young kids love crossing off days until you're home

When You Come Home

Coming home can be harder than leaving. Here's how to make transitions smoother:

The First Day Home

• Don't come in criticising — Things may not be how you'd do them. That's okay.
• Don't immediately try to "fix" everything — Your partner has been managing fine
• Give everyone adjustment time — Including yourself
• Reconnect before routine — Spend quality time before jumping into tasks

Be Actually Present

When you're home, be home. Put the phone down. Be genuinely present with your family. The trade-off of FIFO is supposed to be quality time when you're there — make sure that actually happens.

Supporting Your Partner

Your partner carries a heavy load while you're away. Show appreciation:

• Acknowledge what they're managing — Specifically, not generically
• Don't dismiss their challenges — "You think that's hard? Try doing 12-hour shifts"
• Take over fully when home — Give them real breaks
• Make decisions together — Even remotely. Don't leave everything to them

Warning Signs

Watch for these signs that the FIFO arrangement isn't working:

• Dreading calls home
• Partner seems increasingly distant or resentful
• Fights immediately when you get home
• Kids acting out or withdrawing
• Either partner feeling like "strangers"

If you see these signs, don't ignore them. Have honest conversations. Consider couples counselling (many FIFO companies offer this through EAP). Discuss whether a change is needed — different roster, different job, or transition out of FIFO.

Making It a Positive

Here's a different perspective: some couples actually find FIFO strengthens their relationship. Why?

• You never take each other for granted
• Time together is valued and intentional
• Both partners develop independence
• Financial goals can be achieved faster
• Quality time replaces low-quality coexistence

It's not just about surviving FIFO — it's about making it work FOR your family.